Learn to Live
You never stop loving someone. You just learn to live without them.
Today is my mommy’s death anniversary. She passed away when she was only 41 and I was thirteen. It’s been thirty years. My love for her never changed. My longing, steadfast. I always wonder how she would’ve been as a grandmother to all of our kids. Maybe she would’ve been a more loving grandmother; spoiling her grandkids endless with all her home cooked meals and freshly baked goodies. She would’ve have kept those little hands busy with arts and crafts. She would’ve taught the young girls how to grow up a proper lady and those boys, she’ll lecture them how to be a gentlemen. Unfortunately, we would never know how great a grandmother she could be.
How I would love to see you now
What I wouldn’t give
But life did not bend to my wishes
And so I had to learn to live
In early 2015, I heard the song Learn to Live by Lior while watching the movie Paper Planes. Activate #UglyCry! Every line speaks of how I feel about the passing of my mother; my heart filled with longing for my mommy and all the years coping without her. I listen to this song especially on those days I crave for my mommy.
I miss you mommy. I hope and pray that somehow, someway, I made you proud.